It was Saturday night.  I just wanted to curl up in bed with my bowl of cereal and wait for Sophie to fall asleep so that I could watch a movie with Joe.

It had been a long day of eating at Chili’s with Cammie and Courtney and Cammie’s friend, Rebekah, followed by a very emotional Dear John.  Let me interject here to say that an hour and 48 minutes of viewing the beautiful Channing Tatum helped tremendously despite the fact that I was emotionally drained.  Although it did not turn out as gut-wrenching as I anticipated for a woman whose son-in-law is only days away from Iraq deployment.  It was, however, extremely dramatic for Cammie who is married to said Soldier and who is also in the Army Guard.  Apparently she holds some very strong feelings towards the writer of the Dear John letters.  Let’s leave it at that.  Wouldn’t want to spoil it.

Upon arriving home to relieve Joe from his duty of watching Sophie, I decided to make a trip to Wal-mart.  With Joe.  And Sophie.  AND Cammie.  ON A SATURDAY!  WAL-MART!  HEAVY STINKIN’ SIGH!  *Score parental points here.  (For a successful trip without drama, tantrums or tears, of course.)

Fast forward:  long trip to Wal-mart (HEAVY STINKIN’ SIGH!), come home to unwind, eat cereal, wait for Sophie to fall asleep for popcorn and movie with Joe.  I had even made the popcorn and set it aside lest Sophie see it and want to share.  *Deduct parental points here.

Sophie had just eaten two Chips Ahoy cookies and wanted three.  So we gave her one more which led to an awful melt-down because she wanted THREE.  And clearly that one cookie was not three even though she had TWO before it.

Agonizing moments ticked by slowly as we tried to calm her down and get her to eat one more stinkin’ cookie and go to bed.  My popcorn was ready.  GEEZ!  Tears and drama continued so I offered to go ahead and share my popcorn.  *Score parental points here.

But she would not let up!

“I’M HUNGRY,” she told us with such emotion that it caused the parental bell in my head to ring and wake me from my slumber.  At which time, the parental light bulb went off and I exclaimed, “OH MY GOSH!  JOE! WE DIDN’T FEED HER SUPPER!”  Apparently it’s time to change the parental light bulb.  Perhaps those should come in ten-year long-life bulbs.  *Deduct parental points here.

Between half-giggles and half-tears, I scrambled around trying to find something that would be easy for Sophie to eat rather than fire up the microwave. I tried sending telepathic messages (and I don’t even believe in telepathy) to Joe—DON’T MENTION EASY MAC!

A cheese stick.  A Chuck E Cheese cheese stick and she was happy.  For half a cheese stick. And then she wanted to feed it to Dexter.  And then she asked for the dreaded mac-n-cheese.  You’d think we’d muster the energy for a full meal from all the guilt.  Instead, I offered crackers.  They go great with cheese and make a mom feel like a child has had sufficient food for sleep from two main food groups.  Joe jumped on board naming the various crackers we had in the house.

“Yea, you like those mini thins,” he encouraged.

Mini thins?  Among the many varieties of crackers we generally keep on hand, I don’t recall having ever had mini thins.  I’m pretty sure those are cookies.  Oh Joe, is this the dyslexia speaking?

He further clarified.  “You know—the ones you had for breakfast.”

BREAKFAST?

Well, there they were.  Right there on the kitchen table.  Wheat Thins.  She had eaten Wheat Thins for breakfast.  *Deduct partial parental/dad points here.

And nothing for supper.  *Parental points already deducted.

In spite of the countless mornings Joe made Sophie grits, eggs and toast as opposed to the waffles, dry cereal or yogurt I generally offer her, I felt vindicated.  My presence at supper time caused me to feel obligated for bearing the larger weight of responsibility for having not fed my child.  After all, Joe is a morning person.  Crackers?  Really?  And besides, I cook four and five course breakfast meals all the time.  For supper.  *Score partial parental/mom points here.

So what did I do? I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat toast.  With my favorite Smucker’s All Natural Creamy Peanut Butter and Sugar-free Raspberry Jelly of course.  *Score partial parental/mom points here.

And then I shared it with her.  After all, I’d only had a bowl of cereal.