I received my letter informing me that my 2010 Census form is on the way.

I understand you’ll want to know how many people live in my home.   Do I count my son-in-law?  He’ll be overseas fighting for our country.   He may come home for a short time in July but he’ll head right back to foreign soil afterward.

I hope that doesn’t confuse you.  I’m sure most homes will be reporting correctly the number of people in their homes.  So no worries on an inaccurate count.

It’s not like people are illegally crossing our borders by the millions.  Besides, if they were, what are the odds that many of them would secretly want to harm us?

Just wanted to be sure and clear this issue up so we can all sleep better at night.

You do speak English, don’t you?

An American Citizen

Jordon was probably about nine when he said that and I’m pretty sure his thirteen-year-old self is probably ready to kill me for sharing it.  But that’s Jordon.  He has this dry sense of humor that can be totally unexpected.  Always gets me tickled.

I was thinking recently about Jordon and his brother, Gordon, being teens now.  How times passes by all too quickly.  How, like my girls, they are changing so rapidly that it makes me want to hold on to each precious memory and not let go.

They’re both changing, alright.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.  They’re no doubt maturing.  Both of them are bright.  They not only have a great knowledge of the Bible but thanks to their mom A.K.A teacher, they are truly growing and learning to apply the Word.  And although their senses of humor are quite different, neither of them fail to make me laugh.

Jordon, although I’m quite thankful that your dream of becoming a dog will never come true and that you have seemingly grown accustomed to wearing clothing, there’s one thing I hope never changes—that unexpected dry sense of humor.

And your desire to run free.  THAT, I hope, you will never lose.

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. -John 8:36

I love you,

Nanny

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]]> http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/i-wish-i-were-a-dog/feed/ 6 http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/nannys-little-man/ http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/nannys-little-man/#comments Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:02:27 +0000 Rena http://www.insertgracehere.com/?p=4425 No words to describe how he makes my heart melt. . .

]]> http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/nannys-little-man/feed/ 1 http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/rena-are-you-sure-this-isnt-sophie/ http://www.insertgracehere.com/2010/03/rena-are-you-sure-this-isnt-sophie/#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00:59 +0000 Ginger http://www.insertgracehere.com/?p=4401

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After a whole three days of Cooper missing preschool, his mom gave her phone number to me so that Sophie could call him.  This was great news for Sophie, especially because she wore her Supergirl shirt to school on Tuesday fully expecting to “WOW” Cooper.  Imagine her dismay after she wasted a perfectly good Supergirl t-shirt day without her favorite Superhero present to appreciate it.

Apparently they are both Superheroes now that Cooper gave Sophie her super powers.  We’re still a little fuzzy on the details of how it works.  But they’re Superhero names are SuperSophie and SuperCooper.  If that’s not hilarious enough, I sure wish I had some of Sophie’s super power demonstrations on video for you.  She’s faster than a tired mama.  More powerful than a cup of coffee.  She can leap tall couches with a single bound.  Her landing, however, is not always graceful.  I’ve confirmed that SuperCooper did, in fact, give Sophie her super powers and I have requested that he take a few back.  He said he would try and take some back.  Good luck, Cooper.

After a whole week of no preschool together, Sophie was very excited to hear the news that she could call Cooper.  I forced a straight face and hid my amusement as I handed her my cell.

And then we entered Freaky Friday where Courtney or some other seventeen-year-old traded places with Sophie.

*Phone conversation

Sophie:  Is this you? It’s Sophie.

Calls ends.  Possibly a dropped call.  Phone rings.

Me:  Hello?

Cooper’s Dad?:  ??

Me:  This is Sophie’s mom, Rena. Sophie wanted to talk to Cooper.

Cooper:  Is Sophie there?

Sophie: Hello?  (sarcastically) I don’t know. (pause) I don’t know. (pause) I DON’T KNOW! (heavy sighs)

Me:  Sophie, don’t be rude!

Sophie:  (Mumbles.  Pulls phone away from ear. Presses end dramatically. Sighs.) I don’t want to talk to him anymore!

Me:  SOPHIE! You can’t just hang up on him. That was very rude.  YOU called him. You need to be nice and always say bye. Don’t just hang up. What did he say?

Sophie:  I don’t know!

Phone rings again.

Sophie:  Hello? (mumbles)

Call ends again but without the aid of Sophie. Dropped call??

Sophie:  Heavy sighs. She . . . (mumbles)

Me:  What happened?  Was it Mrs. Casey? (Sophie nods) What did she say?

Frustrated, Sophie leaves the room. Phone rings again.

Me:  Hello?

Cooper:  Is Sophie there?

Me:  Yes, hold on one second, Cooper.  (muffling phone) SOPHIE, come here.  I’s Cooper. BE NICE!

Sophie: (turns her back to me) Hey.  I saw you on my mom’s facebook. (pause) Well, you wasn’t there.  (insert more sarcasm) Cause you were at your Paw-paw!  (pause) Well, I just tell you to tell them can you spend the night and you just didn’t want to come to my house.  That’s what I thought you said.  You want to talk to my mom?

Me:  (struggling to maintain composure, shakes head) Tell him I’m feeding Gavin right now. (hides laughter behind Gavin’s blanket)

Sophie:  My mom’s just feeding the baby.  Remember him?

Me:  (whispering) Tell him you’re going to a Superhero party this weekend.

Sophie:  I’m going to a Superhero party.  (pause) I miss you, too.  (pause) I miss you, too.  (pause) I miss you, too.  (pause) I love you, too.  Bye.

*End of phone call.

Some thoughts:

1.  Was Sophie frustrated because she thought Cooper hung up the first time?

2.  Is three the age that girls begin pretending they “don’t care” when they’re embarrassed or upset?

3.  Will dropped calls be the end of their duo?

4.  Did Cooper ask Sophie for some of her super powers back?

5.  Will Sophie wear her Supergirl shirt to preschool again next week?

6.  How will they feel about courting?

7. Now that phone booths are obsolete due to the increase of cell phone usage, where will Superheroes change their costumes?

8.  Now that Sophie has become a Superhero, has experienced dropped cell phone calls and may soon learn that cell phones have caused the end of Superhero dressing rooms also known as phone booths—will she still want a Blackberry?

9. When do Superheroes stop sneaking in bed with their parents?

Join me over here today at Ginger’s blog for Jeni’s Web-Wedding Shower.

There are some things I want you to know.

1. When I tell you to hurry up or you’re about to be late for school, I AM serious! So when you tell me, “YOU’RE about to be late! I’M not gonna’ be late. I’m a kid. I’m a kid and I AM NOT GONNA’ BE LATE! ARE YOU SERIOUS,” please remember that I would not wear my pajamas every day when I drive you to school if I were going to be late.  You should really think about that. Because, if you’re late, I’m going to have to walk you in. In my PAJAMAS!

2.  Your behavior chart at school is for you. It does not work when you threaten to tell your teacher that I was rude.  I am not going to get a straight face.

3.  Cammie is Gavin’s mom.  I know she is your sister.  But it is not nice when you tell her how to take care of him.  Or when you tell her things like, “You cannot get him! I was playing with him first!”

4.  When Cammie and Courtney are watching you, please remember when you tell them things like, “my MOM said you have to play with me” or “I’m gonna’ tell my mom if you don’t give me a candy” or “you’re gonna’ be in trouble when my mom gets home,” I AM THEIR MOM, TOO! You have to listen to them when they watch you.  Or you’re gonna’ get a straight face.

5.  I love your little personality!  Even when you make me so mad I want to scream.  I love it when you say things like, “that was a good pray,” when I pray for you on the way to school.  Or when you say, “thank you, baby,” when I buckle you in your car seat. You fill my heart with joy!

6. I love that you like to pray for people.  When I told you that Trey’s dad, Mr. Charles, was in the hospital the other day and you said, “awwww!  Poor Sharrzz,” and then you prayed for “Sharrzz”, I know the Lord heard you.  Now “Sharrzz” is home and feeling better.

You are a precious little girl.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

But I am still the boss.

I love you more than peanut butter,

Mom

It had been a long day of eating at Chili’s with Cammie and Courtney and Cammie’s friend, Rebekah, followed by a very emotional Dear John.  Let me interject here to say that an hour and 48 minutes of viewing the beautiful Channing Tatum helped tremendously despite the fact that I was emotionally drained.  Although it did not turn out as gut-wrenching as I anticipated for a woman whose son-in-law is only days away from Iraq deployment.  It was, however, extremely dramatic for Cammie who is married to said Soldier and who is also in the Army Guard.  Apparently she holds some very strong feelings towards the writer of the Dear John letters.  Let’s leave it at that.  Wouldn’t want to spoil it.

Upon arriving home to relieve Joe from his duty of watching Sophie, I decided to make a trip to Wal-mart.  With Joe.  And Sophie.  AND Cammie.  ON A SATURDAY!  WAL-MART!  HEAVY STINKIN’ SIGH!  *Score parental points here.  (For a successful trip without drama, tantrums or tears, of course.)

Fast forward:  long trip to Wal-mart (HEAVY STINKIN’ SIGH!), come home to unwind, eat cereal, wait for Sophie to fall asleep for popcorn and movie with Joe.  I had even made the popcorn and set it aside lest Sophie see it and want to share.  *Deduct parental points here.

Sophie had just eaten two Chips Ahoy cookies and wanted three.  So we gave her one more which led to an awful melt-down because she wanted THREE.  And clearly that one cookie was not three even though she had TWO before it.

Agonizing moments ticked by slowly as we tried to calm her down and get her to eat one more stinkin’ cookie and go to bed.  My popcorn was ready.  GEEZ!  Tears and drama continued so I offered to go ahead and share my popcorn.  *Score parental points here.

But she would not let up!

“I’M HUNGRY,” she told us with such emotion that it caused the parental bell in my head to ring and wake me from my slumber.  At which time, the parental light bulb went off and I exclaimed, “OH MY GOSH!  JOE! WE DIDN’T FEED HER SUPPER!”  Apparently it’s time to change the parental light bulb.  Perhaps those should come in ten-year long-life bulbs.  *Deduct parental points here.

Between half-giggles and half-tears, I scrambled around trying to find something that would be easy for Sophie to eat rather than fire up the microwave. I tried sending telepathic messages (and I don’t even believe in telepathy) to Joe—DON’T MENTION EASY MAC!

A cheese stick.  A Chuck E Cheese cheese stick and she was happy.  For half a cheese stick. And then she wanted to feed it to Dexter.  And then she asked for the dreaded mac-n-cheese.  You’d think we’d muster the energy for a full meal from all the guilt.  Instead, I offered crackers.  They go great with cheese and make a mom feel like a child has had sufficient food for sleep from two main food groups.  Joe jumped on board naming the various crackers we had in the house.

“Yea, you like those mini thins,” he encouraged.

Mini thins?  Among the many varieties of crackers we generally keep on hand, I don’t recall having ever had mini thins.  I’m pretty sure those are cookies.  Oh Joe, is this the dyslexia speaking?

He further clarified.  “You know—the ones you had for breakfast.”

BREAKFAST?

Well, there they were.  Right there on the kitchen table.  Wheat Thins.  She had eaten Wheat Thins for breakfast.  *Deduct partial parental/dad points here.

And nothing for supper.  *Parental points already deducted.

In spite of the countless mornings Joe made Sophie grits, eggs and toast as opposed to the waffles, dry cereal or yogurt I generally offer her, I felt vindicated.  My presence at supper time caused me to feel obligated for bearing the larger weight of responsibility for having not fed my child.  After all, Joe is a morning person.  Crackers?  Really?  And besides, I cook four and five course breakfast meals all the time.  For supper.  *Score partial parental/mom points here.

So what did I do? I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat toast.  With my favorite Smucker’s All Natural Creamy Peanut Butter and Sugar-free Raspberry Jelly of course.  *Score partial parental/mom points here.

And then I shared it with her.  After all, I’d only had a bowl of cereal.

“Well, the phone they gave you at Verizon is a Blackberry.  But it’s called a Demo,” I explained to the three-year-old in a vain attempt to convince her that her fake phone was just as good as the real thing.

“Well, I don’t like Demo,” the three-year-old replied.

Yet, I continued to reason with her.  “Sophie, you’re only three. You can’t have a Blackberry.  I don’t have a Blackberry.”

“Well, I just want to share your phone,” she compromised.

Funny.

I thought she did share my phone.  I should’ve reminded her of the $30 she charged on it when she downloaded those three aps.  But that would remind her that she can no longer play Need for Speed and I’m afraid that would’ve gotten ugly.

This is what I got her for Valentine’s Day:

Apparently she’s determined to prove me right.

She sent this text to Cammie tonight:

Slfdllui712dytcgas

cx

po0bxaklfkkrlsxrlokelllellpo0fhfgo 133ssocqf9fdjkklfkfk

I see the word gas is in the first line.  Hmm…

02.12.10

As you can see, this is a pretty serious situation here in Louisiana. We were able to sneak out for a few minutes to take some pictures but it’s much too dangerous out there so we are back inside thawing out.

I’m working on getting a News helicopter over to Big Mama’s house. Cammie and Gavin are there and we just can’t bear the thought of missing another Sneaux Day without Cammie or seeing Gavin’s expression as he watches his first sneaux. Because 2 1/2 month old babies generally enjoy the wonder of sneaux.

Courtney & Sophie

I’m so glad I documented this.

What is that? 2 inches?

Look how much fun they’re having!

Courtney’s Car

Focus in Sneaux

Oh look! It’s me.

I have ear muffs but no hat. That’s Cammie’s coat she got in Washington D.C. I’m so brave. I hope I don’t catch pneumonia.