Interview with a friend–Jeni Friend

Scroll down for my blogaversary post…

To kick off the first of our 12 month Web-Wedding Shower for our bloggy friend, Jeni Friend (YES!  That is her last name.), we did an interview.  Jeni gave lots of feedback that should spark some ideas for advice as well as virtual gifts over the next year.

I hope you’ll join us in celebrating with Jeni.  Now, let’s learn more about our friend…

Q.  Hi Jeni, my friend!  (I just had to do that!)  For those of us in the blogosphere who don’t know you quite as well as those at home, how long have you and the HTB been together?

A.  We began dating in September 2007 after a friendly motorcycle ride on Labor Day.  I text messaged him on my way home and asked him if his bum was still numb, because mine was.  The text message sparked a four hour conversation into the wee hours of the night, and that following Friday we went out on our first official date.

Q.  How did you meet?

A.  Jeremy (also known as the “HTB”) and I met in May 2007 through a colleague at work.

Q.  When did you know that Jeremy was “the one”?

A.  We were hanging out at his house and he was in the kitchen making us hot chocolate.  I looked over and saw a vision of him with our kiddies running around the kitchen, and my whole body trembled.  I began to just cry thinking about it, and knowing that he would be such an amazing father.  Really, this was only about four months into our relationship, but it was settled for me at that moment that I couldn’t be with anyone else but him.  He would forever be that face I saw when I thought of the man I could spend the rest of my life with.

Q.  Tell us something about Jeremy that sets him apart from the others in your eyes.

A.  Aside from his smashing good looks??  Jeremy has such a soft heart for me, a heart that is constantly forgiving.  Through the many roller coaster rides we’ve taken together, he always fights for me, even after I’ve stopped fighting for myself.  He believes in me and loves me enough to never let me fail.  I’ve never been in a relationship where someone has done that for me before.  I only wish I could be as selfless as him.

Q.  He went to Jared!  Had the two of you discussed this, or was this something he just did on his own?

A.  It was about two days after Jeremy’s dad passed away when we were driving and he asked me if I wanted to go to the jewelry store and look at rings.  Completely unaware of his motives, I was all, “rings for what??” with doe eyes.  Then it hit me what he was trying to say, and I got all nervous and said “Oh…well…if you want to.”  Inside I was screaming!!  Knowing how unconventional I am with tradition, Jeremy didn’t want to make any mistakes on my ring, so he asked me to pick it out.  I found the cheapest ring in the store and said, “That’s it!  It’s PERFECT!!”  And it truly was…

Q.  I recently watched The Bride Wars.  Have you seen it?  It reminded me of all those little details that go into the planning of a wedding.  You seem to be organized and on top of yours.  Do you wish you had hired a Wedding Planner?  Are there any details in particular that are stressing you out?

A.  I haven’t seen it yet, but I do adore Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, so it’ll probably be one us ladies watch at any major wedding preparation event.  I am blessed with killer organizational skills, so it didn’t cross my mind at any moment to have a Wedding Planner.  And even if I did want one, it wouldn’t have fit into our $8,000 budget.  On the day of the wedding, however, we are having a family friend orchestrate everything, as she is a Wedding Planner in Orlando, Florida and I know it’s the one day I won’t want to be trying to play the role of Planner; I’ll just want to be the Bride.  It’s her gift to us, which is awesome!

A.  Well I can say for sure his Ahh’s and Ohh’s have influenced our lives.    The culmination of my two accents (East Coast and Mid-West) and his Northern accent make for an interesting calamity for me…I am still trying to figure out what kind of dialect I speak in.  Jeremy used to have a larger vocabulary in French, but these days it’ll take him about 30 minutes to say ”Here name is Jeni.”  I know this because during our first four-hour conversation, I actually asked him to say that to me in French, and it really did take him 30 minutes to figure out how to say it, and even then he wasn’t sure.    I only know the Alphabet in French, care of my 7th grade French class.

Being born and raised in the Toronto/Scarborough area (within the Ontario province), his culture revolved around hockey, and I am truly not exaggerating that.  The Stanley Cup playoffs haven’t left my television since they began a few weeks back; it’s insane.  The Canadian culture is slightly more laid back about things, whereas I am an East Coaster and therefore a mover and a shaker.  His more relaxed approach to life has enabled me to calm down and enjoy little moments like watching a hockey game or two on a night when I feel the need to be running around taking care of a million tasks.  Jeremy has done well to increase his pace now and again to keep up with me as well, but it’s difficult to do.  Anyone who has seen me speed walk knows exactly why this would be difficult.  

Q.  Throughout your virtual shower this coming year, many of us will want to share marital advice that may be helpful to you as you approach your wedding day.  Aside from those many details of the wedding, what would be your main concerns (if any) about marriage in general?  Be as specific as possible.  We’d love to share our train wrecks as well as successes throughout our marriage.  (And by train wreck, I mean where we’ve handled situations wrongly—NOT our marriages. )

A.  This is a great question, and I’m so happy it’s been brought up.  I don’t even know where to begin:

• Do the communication barriers dwindle as time goes on?
• What do you do to keep God as the central focus of the relationship, together?  Suggestions?  Activities?

I know there’s probably so much more, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.  Sorry. 

Q.  How many children do you plan to have?  Who would you say you look up to as an example in child rearing?  How does Jeremy interact with children?

A.  I would prefer a family larger than the nuclear form.  I always saw myself as “Momma” with four little ducklings trailing behind en route to the market.  And because my brother and I are only 16 months apart and superbly close, I wanted to have our children close in age.  Jeremy was completely comfortable with two children, so clearly there was a serious need to compromise on this.  The compromise we came to was that we would have two children close in age, raise them for a few years and then do the same thing again.  I have so many women tell me how I”ll change my mind about how many children I want after I have my first, and it really insults me when they say it.  The pain we experience in childbirth was given from God, and there’s not a bone in my body that can say that’s a terrible thing. 

My mom didn’t do too terrible of a job raising my brother and I.  She was an incredible woman, raising two babies on a severely fixed income as a single mom working four (yep…count ‘em:  FOUR) jobs at one point.  She always made it work, and I don’t remember a time in my life when we weren’t happy.  We didn’t have much, but man oh man we had so much love…she taught us very early on that that was enough.  My brother is an incredible father whom I look up to so much these days.  The way in which he has raised his daughter is incredible, and I only hope to exude the level of patience he has with her day in and day out.  The other person I look up to a lot is my high school friend, Debbie.  She is such an incredible woman and perseveres in training her children to glorify God in all they do.  Her wise but stern instruction is something I pray I have the ability to gain as I become a parent.  She is also someone whom I know I can run to for any question regarding Unassisted Childbirth, and she’ll never let me down with providing a thorough answer.  I’m so blessed to have her.

Jeremy is so great with kids.  We laugh that he has the softer voice of the two of us, but in so many ways it’s true.  He has such a sweet heart, but I don’t think he’ll have much trouble putting his foot down with our babies.  Our nephew and niece are just crazy in love with him, and they are always so excited to see him because he’s just a fun guy to hang out with.  And they trust him so implicitly.  He’s going to be such an incredible dad.  *Jeni’s heart melts* 

Q.  Finally, you’ve been saved for one year!  I’ve been amazed by your level of spiritual maturity.  Share with us how this has impacted your relationship and your spiritual growth together.

A.  This is a bittersweet question to answer, because my being saved has had an amazingly positive impact on my personal life, but has caused some stress on the relationship I have with Jeremy.  Because we are on two different journeys and have reached different levels in our relationship with God, we still see some things very differently.  I am really looking forward to our pre-marital classes with our Pastor, because I know we will find new ways to handle these tough moments together and not separately.  One thing we have come to enjoy so much together is Church; together we found a “home” where we can meet new people and continue to embrace our faith as a couple.  Initially when I was saved, Jeremy had a hard time stepping way from his Catholic background and attending any other kind of church.  I let him make the decision what kind of church we would go to, and he found a fabulously happy medium for the two of:  Lutheranism.  Coming from a Methodist background myself, it was an easy transition.  When Jeremy made the decision to convert from Catholicism, it was a huge turning point for us (and an incredibly emotional moment for me).  It was at that moment that we made a leap of faith, literally, together and embraced the ability to view things from the same religious perspective.  This is no way a jab at the Catholic religion; we just needed to find what fit US as a couple, and Lutheranism ended up being where we found our happy place. 

That’s a wrap with our interview!  Jeni, you certainly gave lots of great feedback!  Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us.

Ladies, join us as we “shower” Jeni via the internet and blogosphere.  Share your advice, ideas and wisdom for this Bride-to-be.

Blissful wishes to you, Jeni!

Much love,