Look closer.

The timing of this baby’s arrival is just crazy.  No, it’s not baby Gavin.  That would’ve been one quick labor and delivery, though.  No, it’s not baby Aubrey, nor is it his replacement, although Sophie did ask me last night if she should throw baby Aubrey away.  Of course I told her, “no!  No, we should not throw baby Aubrey away.  We do not throw babies away when they break their eyes.”

This is baby Aubrey:

Notice his torn right eyelid.  Freaky isn’t it?

This . . .

. . . is a Real Care baby.

Although this baby is not, you know, real, it is very much like the real thing.  I knew what we signed onto when I signed Courtney’s consent paper for Parenting class.  I knew this little bundle of rubber had a $500 price tag.  I knew that it would require time and patience and loss of sleep.

I did not know today would be the day.  So, while Courtney works tonight, Cammie and I have taken turns caring for baby Griffin.  That’s what I call him.  Not surprisingly, Sophie calls him baby Aubrey.  Imagine that.  If he cries one more time I think I’ll call him birth control.

It was one thing getting used to Sophie’s baby Aubrey and his similarities to a real baby.  Take his thumb or bottle out of his mouth, he cries, “MA-MA, MA-MA, MA-MA!”  Put his thumb or bottle back in his mouth and he sucks for a moment, closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.  And then he starts snoring.  Very loudly.  And then wheezing.  You know—that whistle sound that an old man makes when he snores.  If that’s not enough real for you, place your hand on his chest and you can feel it moving as he breathes.  But at least if you leave his thumb in his mouth and walk away, he pretty much stays that way until you pick him up or move him.

The Real Care baby, HOW-EV-ER, is first of all 9 (NINE) pounds!  His cry is hair raising loud and oh my gosh he IS CRYING RIGHT NOW SO I’LL BE BACK!

I’m back.  Diaper change.  Cammie is already exasperated.

If you’re not familiar with Real Care babies, I’ll give you a little crash course.  When the baby cries, a hand held sensor (for lack of a better word) is rubbed over the chest/stomach area and/or the bottom.  If it beeps on the chest/stomach area, the baby is hungry.  If it beeps on the bottom, the baby needs a diaper change.  If it doesn’t beep, the baby needs to be rocked.  You have to support the neck or it could “snap” resulting in death.

Let me just say that after a car ride with this baby, several cry spells and repeated diaper changes, I am convinced that he has diarrhea, is very fussy and much more difficult than any real baby I ever cared for.

Cammie plans to sleep in Courtney’s room tonight to give her a hand.  I’m hoping they’ll make a great team because this grandmother-to-be just isn’t bonding with baby Griffin.  I’m not thinking of throwing him away like he has a broken eye or something, but I wouldn’t mind trading him in for the real thing.  Tomorrow the Real Care baby will be gone and in just a few more days baby Gavin will make his debut.

But who can know the fate of baby Aubrey?  Rumor has it Sophie plans to replace him with this baby:

Baby Ah-Choo

This little dolls comes with an interactive thermometer, medicine and sneezes.  That’s right!  Swine Flu prevention for preschoolers.  She is now on Sophie’s Santa list.  Let’s pray that her nurturing side comes out as she cares for this little doll because we all know one torn eyelid and she’s outta’ here.

Duty is calling from Cammie’s room.  I think I’ll let her tough it out a bit.  I wouldn’t want to over-step my boundaries or anything.

Gotta’ go!  Baby Griffin’s mama just got home from work.

***Stay tuned!  The next baby pictures posted here just might be the real deal.